Sunday, December 9, 2012

Sunny的大功課- 多重平行宇宙

Sunny's Spiritual Homework - More Parallel Universes

In the past month or so. Something major happened in my life.  The Universe kept reassuring to me that it is for the highest good. It took me three and a half weeks to finally understand what HE meant.

In October, my partner of seven and a half years, T went back to the United states to visit his family for three weeks. At the last day of his visit, he wrote in an email to have me call him.  So I did.  The first thing he said on the phone, was "I am not coming back."

This was a shocking news.  I had no idea why and how..... and whatever reason he gave me did not feel (internal gut feeling, connecting to the Source) right.

Almost two years ago. T received information that he needed to go into a meditation retreat, or else his life would fall apart.  So the Universe resourcefully arranged a retreat for him. After 7 days of silent meditation, he appeared to have some shifts.  Another half a year later, I received information that T's appreciation level for his partner, me, is only 40%, and that if he does not increase his appreciation level for me to over 50%,  he will eventually leave me because of his dissatisfaction towards me.

I related this information to him, assuming that he will work hard to increase inner appreciation level for me. I was wrong.  He did increase appreciation and gratitude level for his life in general in the past year and a half, but the level of appreciation towards me remains only 40% as the day he decided to "leave me".

So the following two weeks I went through tremendous amount of inner processing, including balancing emotional programming that brought on the emotions related to current event; and finding beliefs that keeps me from being at the state of Unconditional Love.

After the process, I started to See why the Universe said that it is for the highest good that he and I not be partners.

When we were together, I was devoting so much of my effort taking care of him and business, worrying about him, that I could not see my programs of worry that needed to be removed for my own spiritual development.

When he decided to leave me.  I had no ill feeling of "not being loved" or "not being accepted", because I had finished that part of my spiritual work years ago, with a muscle tested personal truth, "I love myself" is 100% and "I accept myself" is also 100%.  I also had no negative emotional response regarding "being abandoned" because that part of the spiritual work is also dealt with and completed. Same with "self-worth", dealt with and done, at 100%.  So I did not feel "not worthy".

So what exactly did I have problem with after the "leaving incident"? After in-depth meditation and inner processing, I came to a realization that it is "Fear"... a mother's fear that her child can not survive.

Since I never had children, I never would have seen this part of my programming that is operating 24-7. In our past two and a half years of my life in Taiwan, I had allowed him to be dependent on me emotionally and financially, allowed him to surrender to his fear and not making him independent in getting around in Taiwan , even make friends. He did not go out, he did not social with anyone out side of my friends circle, he had no desire to learn Chinese (he dropped out of classes after two and a half weeks), no desire to promote our product in the US, and no desire to make a life for himself.

In our later email correspondence, he revealed to me: when he looked back to this part of his life in Taiwan, he did not like who and what he had became.  To this, I am grateful that he was honest enough to let me know about this.

I found 7 emotional programs regarding this "mother's fear" and over 50 emotional responses. It took me almost 3 days to use EFT (emotional freedom techniques) to balance every single of the emotions, until I muscle tested everything is down to 0%.

When I removed these dominating programs, I began to see that I was too busy being fearful and taking care of his needs, I had forgotten to tend to my own needs. I realized there are a few more aspects of life that I would love to have in a relationship that T and I could not create together.

This is another step closer to understanding the Universe's great plan.

I wanted to feel free, free of burdens. I wanted to feel lighter, energetically and emotionally.  Overall, I had been a happy person. But there had been some underlining stress that no one can pinpoint. Being honest with myself, I muscle tested, at the time he left me, my happiness level overall was 90%.  I wanted to be able to create more, because I know there is higher level of joy and happiness a human can be... that is 100%.

So the Universe kicked my ass to make me see that I had these "mother's fear" programs that are keeping me from getting where I ought to be.

After another conversation with T, I realized that my appreciation level towards myself is 90%.  There is more progress I can make in this aspect. I know.

So if a person who has 40% appreciation level towards me, he/she is bound to vibrate way ways away from me.  We all know that we could never change a person if this person is not willing to change.  I checked with the Universe, T is more interested in "being right" at the moment when I write this.

Eventually I will make peace with him leaving, I am almost there.  I still have some beliefs that I need to observe and alter, still have some emotional programs regarding these beliefs.  This is Sunny, some of you knows me, I am a person of my words.

The Universe shared an article through me a day prior to the break up: "Be Responsible For The Intimate Relationship We Create" in Chinese. I also wrote an article about our inner world creating our inner experience. These articles were the words from the Universe when I meditate.

I have a lot of tools to create different inner experience. I just need to pay attention in the process of creation.

In this incident, I began to do some inner dialogue regarding appreciation and gratitude.  The Universe took the opportunity to show me more information than I ever would have been able to come up with.

Gratitude in an intellectual level, is only words that one thinks.  They have no emotional effect whatsoever.  Gratitude embodied, you get joy, bliss, LOVE and peace.

Appreciation in an intellectual level, you get dissatisfaction. Why? You may ask? When you appreciate something intellectually, it is short-lived. because there are so few things that spark that appreciation. You go to the beach, you see beautiful waves and the beautiful sunset. You appreciate the moment, then you go home. When you get home, you began to compare what you have now that is never as good as what you experience at the beach. you can not deep down appreciate, embrace and enjoy what you have moment to moment. then your life is always miserable.

If anyone ask me what I gained out of this split up.  I learned that gratitude and appreciation must be embodied or else it is as good as nothing.  I learned that I have 90% embodied appreciation towards T, that is also 90% embodied appreciation towards myself. I have 90% embodied gratitude towards T, and 100% intellectual gratitude towards T. Since our intimate relationship, is the reflection of ourselves, I have 90% embodied gratitude towards myself, and 100% intellectual gratitude towards myself.  All these numbers are muscle tested.

This is, very important to know, and also helps me understand and make peace with the Universe's plans.
All of this, is the highest good.

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Speaking about my gratitude towards T. I see a few different parallel realities.

In my internal experience, my personal reality, he was a great companion and a descent partner. We had a lot of fun together. We had great conversation. He helped me established my beautiful home in Taiwan. We work together in many things, he helped me grow spiritually. As he left, he created a situation that propelled me into a quantum leap of spiritual transformation. For this, I am eternally grateful.

In a social perspective, he abandoned a relationship of seven and a half years with almost no notice. He took advantage of the financial situation and walked away with more than half of the business profit. He did not have to work for two and half years while in Taiwan. He demanded his request to be met or he threw a fit.

In the soul level, he is a soul family member, even though I probably will not see him much anymore, or will not feel connected with him in human level anymore. This beautiful soul choose to suffer in human experience so that he could be my dark angel, this is takes magnificent courage. For that, I am eternally grateful.

And in T's reality, his inner world created his inner experience, whatever his inner experience of our relationship was, I have no clue. Whatever his inner story about me, I also have no clue. I figured out that if I expected him to be grateful for what I had done for him, it is me who is crazy. The Universe said to me today, when you have high level of gratitude and appreciation for yourself, those who has little gratitude and appreciation for you will automatically disappear in your life, no matter what their reasoning may be.  This is Law of Attraction at work.

I thought I missed him.  I missed his companionship. Then I realized that the one I missed wasn't really him. It was a story and experience of him that my internal world had created. The T whom I remembered, wasn't really him after all.  It is simply a creation of my mind. He is a stranger after all.

This realization set me free. I finally got it.



過去的一個月,我的生命裏發生一件大事。宇宙來的訊息一再告訴我,這一切是最好的安排。三個半星期之後,我終於真正地領會到了宇宙想表達的是什麼。

十月中,我的老公(沒有正式結婚的伴侶,我習慣性地稱呼他是老公,因為我們的實質關系是夫妻)T 回到美國去探親三個星期。預計回臺灣的前一天,他寫電子郵件來,要我打電話過去。我打了電話,他的第一句話是:『我決定不回臺灣了!』

這是一個令我驚訝的消息。我完全不知道為何會如此發生 · · · 他給我的理由,我從內在感覺到並不是事實。我跟宇宙是合一的,我可以感受到事情的真實性與否。

兩年前,T 接收到訊息,他必須要去內觀中心靜心,否則他的生活會變得不可收拾。宇宙也很巧妙地安排一個讓他能夠去靜心內觀的機會。靜修七天之後,他有一些轉變。六個月之后,我從宇宙得到訊息,T 對於我這個親密伙伴的欣賞珍惜(appreciation)程度只有40%。如果他不在靈性成長上增加他對我的appreciation 程度到達50%以上,他遲早有一天會因為對我的不滿而主動離開我。

我把這個訊息轉達給他,以為他會很用心地在靈性成長方面專注於appreciation 的內化。原來我想錯了。雖然他在生命其他的方面 提高了感恩珍視欣賞的程度,但是他對我的appreciation 程度始終還是停留在40%。即使他提出分手的那一天,仍然是40%。

接下來的兩個星期,我把所有的時間精力都花在內觀與整理我的內在經驗。我找到了許多情感程式來做平衡,也找到許多創造不舒服的感受的信念。這些信念也都有情感程式來支持他們所創造的情緒反應。有許多信念導致我遠離無條件的愛。

在兩個星期積極的做心靈功課之後,我開始看懂為什麼宇宙說T 和我分開是最好的安排。

當我們在一起的時候,我的精力都花在照顧他,與照顧我們的事業。我時時擔心他。我自己看不到我對他很擔心的情感程式,是急需要在我的靈性成長上突破的課題。

當他決定離開我,我完全沒有感覺到『不被愛』的難受,也沒有『不被接納』的傷心。因為這些課題我已經做完了。利用肌肉測試,我的自愛是100%,自我接納也是100%。我對於『被遺棄』也沒有負面的情緒,因為多年前也已經做完這個課題。我也做完了『自我價值』的課題,到達100%,所以我也沒有感覺到『沒有價值』。

究竟在他決定離開我的時候,我的感受是什麼呢?經過我深入地去感受我的感受,我發現我的感受是『恐懼』。一個『媽媽怕孩子無法生存的恐懼』。

因為我從來沒有生孩子,我跟本就沒有想到過有這個可能,這樣的情感程式會每天24小時暗地里操作著。過去兩年半在臺灣的經歷裏,是我允許他在經濟上,情緒上依賴我,也是我允許他對自己的恐懼投降,不要求他在臺灣的社會裏獨立自主地行動。他也不交朋友,他也不出門,他在我的朋友圈外沒有任何其他的朋友。他完全不願意學中文,因為他怕講不好。他後來終於在政大註冊學中文,卻又在兩個半星期後輟學。他也沒有意願在美國推展我們共同設計的產品,沒有意願為自己的生命創造任何的機會。

在我們後來的電子郵件交談中,他向我承認,當他回顧他在臺灣的生活狀況,他非常不喜歡他看到自己所變成的樣子。對於他能夠誠實的告訴我這一點,我感到相當地感恩。

從『母親恐懼孩子無法生存』的七個情感程式裏,有大約五十餘層不同的情緒。我使用經脈情緒平衡法,把每一層的情緒做平衡,一共花了我三天的時間。一直到我使用肌肉測試,對于『母親恐懼孩子無法生存』的數據是0%。

當我消除了這些主使我情緒反應的『恐懼的母親』情感程式之後,我開始看到原來我把我所有的心思都放在照顧他的需求,我讓自己忙碌地忘記去招呼我自己的需求。我終於領會到,原來我對我的生活(生命)有其他我想要的面相,以T 的個性來看,是T 與我不可能共同創造的。

對於宇宙的大計劃,我又有進一步的了解。

我一直向宇宙提出要求,我想要感受沒有包袱的自由,我要在能量上與情緒上感覺輕一些。雖然大體上,我已經是一個很快樂的人。但是我也感覺到我有一些下意識的緊張。我的肩膀的肌肉常常是緊繃的,但是沒有任何人能夠確切地指出這個緊張是跟什麼有關。當我處理完『母親的恐懼』之後,我肩膀的結,散了差不多80% 。我很誠實的問自己,用肌肉測試,在T 決定分手的當時,我的整體快樂程度是90%。我要能夠創造更多幸福,因為我知道,人可以感受到更多的幸福與美滿,也就是100%。

所以如果有一個人對我的珍視欣賞的程度是40%,他的振動頻率跟我的振動頻率差距一定大到會自動振地離我很遠很遠。我們都知道,我們不可能改變一個自己不願意改變的人。我跟宇宙查證了一下,T 在這個時候,對於『自己是對的』比改變與成長有興趣多了。

我知道等我跟T 的功課做完的時候,我會對我們的分手達到完全的接納與內在平靜。我已經幾乎到那裏了。我還有一些信念與相關的情感程式我必須處理平衡。我是Sunny,你們有些人認識我,我這個人說得到的話,就一定做的到。不像是許多身心靈老師,嘴上說一套,行為上是另一套。

在T 提出分手的前一天,宇宙就透過我傳遞了『為自己所創造的親密關係負責』一文。這絕對不是巧合。在事情發生的頭幾天,宇宙也透過我傳遞了一篇『內在的世界』。這些是宇宙在我靜坐時告訴我的話。

我有許多幫助我創造或改造內在經驗的工具。我所需要做的,只是要刻意的去創造我的經驗

這一次的分手經驗,我開始跟宇宙談到珍視欣賞,與感恩。宇宙借這個機會,讓我有想象不到地深刻領會。

理性上的感恩,只是頭腦裏的一個想法。對於情緒沒有任何的影響。當你能夠把感恩內化,(embody),你會感受到愉悅,福佑,大愛(宇宙無條件的愛),以及寧靜。

理性上的appreciation 珍視與欣賞,你反而會得到『不滿意』。你或許會問為什麼?因為當你以理性來珍視欣賞某一件事物,它是絕對短覱的。因為能夠激起你的珍視與欣賞的事物是少之又少。就像你到海邊度假,你看到美麗的海浪與夕陽,然後你回到家之後,沒有比這個更美麗的經驗,你沒有辦法在日常生活里找到珍視,欣賞,你沒有辦法擁抱與享受你身邊的每一經驗,每一分每一秒。你會覺得你的生命很苦。

如果有人問我,從這個分手的經驗裏我獲得了什麼?我學到,感恩,珍視,欣賞,是必需內化,否則等於零。我發現,我對T 有90%的內化珍視欣賞,也對我自己有90%的內化珍視欣賞。我對T 有90% 的內化感恩,有100% 的理性感恩。我們的親密關係,是我們的鏡像。也就是說,我對我自己有90% 的內化感恩,有100% 的理性感恩。我還有功課要繼續進行。這些數據,是經過肌肉測試獲得的答案。

能夠知道這些資訊,對我來說是非常重要的。這讓我更能夠領會宇宙的計劃,並且在這次的事件找到平靜。這所有的一切,都是宇宙最好的安排。

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對於提到我對於T 的感恩,我看到了以下幾個不同的平行宇宙:

在我個人所創造的內在經驗,T 是一個不錯的伴侶,也是一個很好的朋友。我們在一起玩地很愉快。我們也很能聊得來。他幫我在臺灣創造一個美麗的家。我們有很多合作的地方,他也幫助我在靈性上成長。在他提出分手的時候,他創造了一個讓我獲得靈性大躍進的機會。對於這一點,我對他有永恒的感恩。

在一般社會的觀點上,T 在一夜之間遺棄他共同生活七年半的伴侶。他利用機會拿走了與伴侶兩人共有,多於一半的金錢。在臺灣的兩年半裏,他不需要工作。他要他的伴侶順從他的要求,不然他就發脾氣。

在靈魂的層面上,T 是我的靈魂家族。雖然以後我可能不會再見到他,也不會覺得再有像以前一樣的那種連結感。著一個美麗的靈魂,選擇經歷人類的苦,來作為我的黑天使。這需要無限的勇氣。為此,我對T 感到無窮的感恩。

至於T ,他的內在世界創造了他的內在經驗。我大概永遠無法理解他所經驗的是什麼樣子的親密關係。我也永遠無法知道,他心目中的Sunny是什麼樣子的。我學到了,如果我要求他要對我為他所做的一切感到感恩,這裏的瘋子是我。宇宙今天告訴我,當我對自己的珍視欣賞與感恩程度很高的時候,我身邊對我珍視欣賞與感恩程度低的人,就會因為吸引力法則,在我的生命中自動消失,無論他的理由是什麼。

宇宙告訴我,每一個平行宇宙,有他們適用的真理。每一個平行宇宙的觀點與真理,和其他平行宇宙的觀點與真理,是不可以混為一談的。否則你會把自己搞得昏頭轉向。

原本我以為我很想念他,我想念他的友誼。後來我也領會到,我所想念的並不是真的他,而是我的內在世界所創造描述的T 的假象。我所記得的他,原來也只是一個幻象。原來,他只是一個陌生人。

這個領會釋放了我。我終于懂了。

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以前兩年來一直沒有分享經脈情緒平衡法的處理過程,也是因為我在成長經驗裏,回到臺灣之前,已經做完了自愛的課題,以肌肉測試,我已經是100%愛我自己,0%不愛自己。也做完了自我尊重,達到100%尊重自己的意願。0%不尊重自己。自我接納的課題幾乎完成。達到100%接納我自己。自我排斥還有5%(不接納自己)也是最近沒多久之前才發現還有沒做完的課題。請閱讀自我接納與自我排斥一文。

這一個大課題。宇宙認為在網誌里跟大家分享我的心路歷程,會幫助大家學習如何使用經脈情緒平衡法更改情感程式(以及吸引子模式)。所以在未來的文章里,我會陸續分享我做心靈功課的程序。






4 comments:

  1. sunny 你好,

    看完後勾起了自己兩年前的回憶,覺得很有感覺
    我現在還沒辦法好好的像你這樣寫清楚過往的事
    雖然我以前堅定的信念是要跟媽媽很親密, 就像你提到的"若沒有珍視欣賞,振動會越離越遠"這兩年我才慢慢了解分開是上天最好的安排,但有時想到還是會有情緒 ...謝謝你的分享,期待您陸續的分享~

    ReplyDelete
  2. 我相信版主的未來會越變越好

    這篇是給我們學生做了一個極佳的示範---如何處理『人生變化』。

    人類的弱點就是害怕改變,在已經習慣的人事物 運作"尚良好"的情況下,我們是希望永遠保持現狀的 (想留在舊的生活模式和舊的能量中),一旦『人生變化』襲來,恐懼和疑惑就佔據了小我 會慌張失措。
    現在我們見識到了學心靈成長的具體好處了,靈性高手聽到晴天霹靂,那反應就是和平常人不一樣。

    這使我想起了彌勒佛的傳訊人瑪格麗特,她也有跟版主這篇相類似的經歷,兩位都是女強人。雖然瑪格麗特當時的反應不一樣,但是『人生巨變』過後,帶來給她的卻是更棒的生活品質,更成功,更加豐盛更加的快樂。

    彌勒通訊 http://maitreyaasia.com/chinese_web/maitreya_cn/299_newsletter_maitreya_cn_tr.html

    這真是應了高靈說的話,只要你不害怕接受,宇宙很想送給你更多更讚的「充足之流」。

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  3. Dear Sunny,

    I like what you receive from the Universe:[when you have high level of gratitude and appreciation for yourself, those who has little gratitude and appreciation for you will automatically disappear in your life, no matter what their reasoning may be.]

    [I wanted to be able to create more, because I know there is higher level of joy and happiness a human can be... that is 100%]Yes, keep on moving, you are almost there, and right now I think you are FREE!

    Take care

    Liz

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  4. 很感人,也很真誠的分享,值得尊敬。

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