The Totalitarian Playbook in Plain Sight

How to Spot Authoritarian Control in Spiritual and Academic Groups

Who Shot the Sheriff?

A Whimsical Look at the Virtue-Vigilante Inside Us All

Hello, dear reader. Let’s sit together for a moment in the quiet space between our ideals and our imperfections. If you’ve ever sought to be better, kinder, or wiser, you’ve likely met a curious character along the road—the part of you (or someone else) that mistakes virtue for a weapon, and compassion for a compliance checklist.

With a gentle smile, let’s call this character the Virtue Sheriff.

It’s that internal (or external) voice that patrols the borders of right thought and correct behavior, siren blaring, ready to pull over any soul speeding too fast toward enlightenment—or idling too long in doubt. It confuses righteousness for being right, and policing for peacekeeping.

“Power-Under”

We talk a lot about bullies, tyrants, and narcissists—those who wield "Power-Over" others with threats, manipulation, and control. We can list their tactics: gaslighting, intimidation, love-bombing, stonewalling. But we miss the other half of the story, the silent partner in this toxic dance.

This is the story of the "Power-Under" position. It's not about weakness. It's about the brilliant, heartbreaking, and ultimately self-caging survival script a person learns when "Power-Over" is the only language spoken in their world.

由痛到寧 part 1 of 4

 由痛到寧

第一部 （1/4)：在權力壓制的世界中尋找答案

無名的劇痛

我依然清晰地記得當時的感覺：「我」只是一個微小的旁觀者，被困在一個完全不屬於自己的身體裡。這個身體暴怒、狂喊、抓起木製的劍道練習劍，砸爛眼前的一切。我就像一個被困在失控機器裝甲裡的人質。那感覺， 像是惡魔附身一般。

第一次風暴過後，留下的只有龐大的羞恥感，以及無限的困惑。「剛才究竟發生了什麼？」我的身體處在極度的耗竭感，連續三天把自己鎖起來，試圖理出頭緒。類似的情況在我上一段婚姻中發生了無數次。

From Pain to Peace. Part 4: The Language of Dignity

From Pain to Peace 

Part 4: The Language of Dignity—From Reaction to Resonance

Introduction: The Missing Tool

You now have a map of the territory (power-over tactics) and a compass for your inner world (dignity and discernment). What remains is the language to navigate it all. This is not a technique for manipulating others, but a fundamental shift in consciousness. It is a way of communicating that protects dignity, honors our shared humanity, and rewires our brains for self-compassion and connection.

This is the practice of Nonviolent Communication (NVC). Woven with the neuroscience of resonance, it becomes more than a tool—it becomes a path to healing. To understand the "how," we will use Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor's model of the four characters of the brain, a powerful lens for understanding why NVC works.

From Pain to Peace. Part 3: The Deeper Work

From Pain to Peace

Part 3 (of 4): The Deeper Work: discerning the source of our pain.

Untangling Our Triggers and Expectations

Now that you have the tools to identify power-over tactics and understand dignity, a challenging but essential question arises: How do I know if my reaction is about a true dignity violation in the present, or a wound from my past? And how do I know if I'm the one violating someone else's dignity with my expectations?

From Pain to Peace, Part 2: A Guide to Dignity and Power Dynamics:

From Pain to Peace

Part 2 (of 4): A Guide to Dignity and Power Dynamics: 

Tools for When Relationships Hurt

If you’re reading this, you might be feeling confused, hurt, and exhausted by your interactions with others. You might leave conversations feeling small, sick to your stomach, or filled with a rage that seems to come out of nowhere. You may have been told you're "too sensitive" or that you "can't take a joke."

You are not crazy. You are not broken. You are likely experiencing the very real effects of dignity violations through power-over tactics.

This guide provides the two core tools you need to understand what is happening and how to protect yourself.