From Pain to Peace. Part 4: The Language of Dignity

From Pain to Peace 

Part 4: The Language of Dignity—From Reaction to Resonance

Introduction: The Missing Tool

You now have a map of the territory (power-over tactics) and a compass for your inner world (dignity and discernment). What remains is the language to navigate it all. This is not a technique for manipulating others, but a fundamental shift in consciousness. It is a way of communicating that protects dignity, honors our shared humanity, and rewires our brains for self-compassion and connection.

This is the practice of Nonviolent Communication (NVC). Woven with the neuroscience of resonance, it becomes more than a tool—it becomes a path to healing. To understand the "how," we will use Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor's model of the four characters of the brain, a powerful lens for understanding why NVC works.

From Pain to Peace. Part 3: The Deeper Work

From Pain to Peace

Part 3: The Deeper Work: discerning the source of our pain.

Untangling Our Triggers and Expectations

Now that you have the tools to identify power-over tactics and understand dignity, a challenging but essential question arises: How do I know if my reaction is about a true dignity violation in the present, or a wound from my past? And how do I know if I'm the one violating someone else's dignity with my expectations?

From Pain to Peace, Part 2: A Guide to Dignity and Power Dynamics:

From Pain to Peace

Part 2: A Guide to Dignity and Power Dynamics: 

Tools for When Relationships Hurt

If you’re reading this, you might be feeling confused, hurt, and exhausted by your interactions with others. You might leave conversations feeling small, sick to your stomach, or filled with a rage that seems to come out of nowhere. You may have been told you're "too sensitive" or that you "can't take a joke."

You are not crazy. You are not broken. You are likely experiencing the very real effects of dignity violations through power-over tactics.

This guide provides the two core tools you need to understand what is happening and how to protect yourself.

From Pain to Peace. Part 1: My Search for Answers in a World of Power-Over Tactics

From Pain to Peace

Part I 

My Search for Answers in a World of Power-Over Tactics

The Agonizing Pain With No Name: 

I remember the exact sensation: the feeling that "I" was just a tiny observer, trapped inside a body that was no longer mine. This body raged, screamed, and picked up a wooden Bokken sword, smashing everything in sight. I was a hostage in a robotic suit gone haywire. It felt like demonic possession.

When the storm subsided, only confusion and shame remained. "What happened?" For three days, in extreme exhaustion, I'd lock myself away, trying to make sense of it. This happened multiple times in my last marriage.

I later realized these were not demonic possessions or breakdowns of character; they were autistic meltdowns—the direct, physical result of pent-up pain from my ex-husband's relentless power-over tactics. My body was screaming what I could not.